IMMEDIATE RELEASE 4th February 2003

With just days to go before the seventh National Marriage Week begins (9-16th February) Faith leaders, politicians and celebrities lend their support to the project which seeks to help to remind couples to love, cherish and honour each other.

Dr David H Olson PHD from the University of Minnesota, a World renowned authority on marital therapy, and Professor Richard Whitfield, a specialist in Human Development will both be speaking at the National Marriage Week press launch, Thursday February 6th, Merchant Taylors Hall. Threadneedle St. London. 11 am. 

Statements in support of marriage have been issued to coincide with Marriage Week from Archbishop Rowan Williams, Chief Rabbi Jonathan Sacks and Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O’Connor.

In addition Iian Duncan Smith said, “At their best marriages are one of the most outward-looking and inclusive institutions in society.  Evidence shows that married people are more likely than others to contribute to the common good through volunteering, voting and other forms of community service”.

Marriage Week is designed to encourage couples to talk about their marriages and build positive skills into the relationship. Founder and Director of Marriage Week, which is now an international event, Richard Kane said “Marriage Week is here to remind couples to stay true to each other, and learn to love each other even more”.   

Hundreds of events will occur throughout the UK, from Renewal of Vows, through to the launching of the first ever Community Marriage Policy in the UK, which will be signed by Registrars and around 25 church leaders in Bath on February 11th.  Over 160 cities in the USA have adopted a community wide approach to marriage support.  Bath Superintendent Registrar, Judy Stone said, “As we come in to contact with couples wishing to marry we are well placed to offer them strategies to help them avoid unnecessary breakdown”.

 Ends

Quotes and other information available from www.nmw.org.uk

Call 01202 883887

Or 07702 426500

TOP TIPS FOR STRESS FREE MARRIAGE

Edit yourself. Couples who avoid saying every angry thought when discussing touchy topics are consistently the happiest.

Soften your "start up." Arguments first "start up" because a spouse sometimes escalates the conflict by making a critical or contemptuous remark in a confrontational tone.

Accept influence. A marriage succeeds to the extent that the husband can accept influence from his wife. If a woman says, "Do you have to work Thursday night? My mother is coming that weekend, and I need your help getting ready," and her husband replies, "My plans are set, and I'm not changing them," this a guy is in a shaky marriage. A husband's ability to be persuaded by his wife (rather than vice-versa) is so crucial because, research shows, women are already well practiced at accepting influence from men, and a true partnership only occurs when a husband is able to do so as well.

Have high standards. Happy couples have high standards for each other even as newlyweds. The most successful couples are those who, even as newlyweds, refused to accept hurtful behaviour from one another. The lower the level of tolerance for bad behaviour in the beginning of a relationship, the happier the couple is down the road.

Learn to repair and exit the argument. Successful couples know how to exit an argument. Happy couples know how to repair the situation before an argument gets completely out of control. Successful repair attempts include: changing the topic to something completely unrelated; using humour; stroking your partner with a caring remark ("I understand that this is hard for you"); making it clear you're on common ground ("This is our problem"); backing down (in marriage, as in the martial art Aikido, you have to yield to win; and, in general, offering signs of appreciation for your partner and his or her feelings along the way ("I really appreciate and want to thank you for.…"). If an argument gets too heated, take a 20-minute break, and agree to approach the topic again when you are both calm.

Focus on the bright side. In a happy marriage, couples make at least five times as many positive statements to and about each other and their relationship ("We laugh a lot") as opposed negative ones (“We never have fun”). A good marriage must have a rich climate of positivity. Make deposits to your emotional bank account.             Source D John Gottman PHD. www.gottman.com